I have been sifting through my baby’s things that were stashed below the bed. There were the cards, the trinkets, the artwork and of all the bracelet of the hospital when you were born. I had placed it on my hand and help it in place as the nurse snipped it out and you were released. You were all mine, but only for a short while. I miss you already. It is a funny thought when you are there right in front of me.
It was not some time ago that you could not sit at all. Then you learned to do everything, even sit on your own. You could walk, crawl, sit and jump. You could even sing, climb, and dance. At that time you needed me so much that you would cry in the middle of the night and get quite at the first touch from me as I would feed you and hold you and calmed you. It felt like eternity to me as I held you close to me, but now it seems to be just a brief moment in my life. The time is such a funny thing.
I am missing you already. I remember your getting up your dad’s back for a transport up to your bed. You will paint your own nails and have your own lip gloss to wear and you won’t need mine for that. And before I realize, your toys won’t be your own and you will be a grown up already. Instead of a school dress it will be a prom dress and later will be a wedding dress. I already am missing you.
I knew before hand that you will grow up. As a matter of fact I too wanted you to grow. But the feeling to watch you grow is ripping me. I am enjoying parenting you. I felt that a day was like a year and the year would pass off like a blink. Every one will tell you from the girl in the line of the grocery store to the lady in line at the church to get blessings from the priest to the lady shopping for the jeans for her teenager.
So tonight when you went to sleep, I went to your room and watched you. I tangled my fingers in your curls and heard you breathe. I sat beside you and tried to match your dreams. We both laughed and went to the Disney Land and enjoyed the ice cream on the swing. I already miss you my child.